Crystal Cheer

Top Ten Worst Uniforms

I’m sure y’all agree, bad uniforms are always the absolute worst. Although some of y’all reading this may have experienced a skirt that was too short or a shell that was too tight, nothing can top these uniforms fails.


No offense, but what is this, the 1960’s? I understand that we should not objectify women with super short skirts and tops that are basically bras, but cmon, this is a bit too much coverage


How are you even supposed to perform in these? Forget toe touches or really any cool stunt, these “uniforms” look like something you should wear out to a party, not a competition.


Now, at first I thought this was a joke, or a costume for Halloween. Nope, this is an actual cheer uniform. The pleated skirt looks distracting and may get in the way, along with the t-shirt like design of the top. And don’t even get me started on the shoes, how are you supposed to tumble or stunt in those.


Now, I know I said earlier that the one uniform looked like it was from the 1960’s, but I’m pretty sure this one actually is. I can give this uniform some credit, it looks pretty functional. The thing is, the collar just completely throws off the entire uniform.



What. Are. These. Not only are the colours completely contradictory, but the hair pieces are ugly. The flower decor is also extremely off putting, they look like they just escaped from a crayon factory

I’m sorry but, what are they, construction workers? Their tops are basically sports bras with contrasting colours. Also just wow, the hats really bring the whole outfit together.


Now first, their shoes are great, I’ll give them that. However, their tank tops paired with the shorts throw the whole look off. They look like when a track star meets a cheerleader, but not in a good way.


Uh, what? The pom poms look like a ball of silver and are extremely distracting. Not only that, but the glittery blue tank top and white shorts don’t make an amazing match. Plus, has this team even heard of matching colours? Apparently not.


Oh. First of all, this uniform nearly has the same colours of my old middle school, so that’s mildly disheartening. However, they somehow managed to make a pleated skirt look too short (which is difficult in itself), and the turtle neck certainly isn’t flattering.


Let me preface this by saying, the front of the uniforms aren’t that terrible. However, then you move to the back. WHY are they vertical lines??? Vertical lines are infamously unflattering on even the prettiest of people. Not only that, but they look like they’re either from the circus or a jail cell with those uniforms.

Hope you enjoyed my satirical criticism on these uniforms. Try not to take any of it too seriously, though let’s be honest, here really bad.

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